In an ideal world, this shouldn’t even be an issue.
As long as my vagina is referred to as a pussy, which is also a term to describe someone who is cowardly, then I am not going to stop using the phrase, "Suck my DICK!"
I know that I don’t have one. But you can go and still suck my methaphorical dick. Which is huge by the way.
This week, we let Amy and Tina take over EW — and they clearly took the job very seriously, as you can see from their opening letter to readers:
"If you are reading this ‘Letter From the Guest Editors,’ it probably means you have read all the other parts of the magazine at least five times and are in some kind of isolated and desperate situation. If it’s a bathroom emergency, try elevating your feet on an upturned wastebasket. If you are in the trunk of a drug lord’s car, try doing that thing Walter White does where he throws chemicals at the ground and they explode."
And I pledge my self allegiance
To a better night sleep at home
Since I’ve started working here, there was never a calm day. There will always be some sort of tensed up moments that messes up with something or with someone. So when there are days that this doesn’t happen, I go extra neurotic.
My mind seems to refuse the idea of me being calm. So I think to myself, maybe I’m a pessimist, always assuming the worst. And I go, No, that can’t be right, because I’m Ms. Positive and I go, no you are not! And the internal debate goes on and on…..
I’m sure I’m not the only one, or else the phrase, Always assume the worst wouldn’t be a thing.
I was supposed to make a point, but now I can’t remember.